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 I let some guy help me once...messed up my whole procedure...sometimes people just try to be too helpfull

Joe 

cudachaser:

 I let some guy help me once...messed up my whole procedure...

 

You too? I can´t get my chair into my car if I don´t do it my way, which is completely without thinking.

Sometimes people hand in my wheels without even asking, and I get so muddled up as if I´ve never seen a wheel before.

But I have found that people really don´t mind to stay out of my hair when I ward them off with a clear gesture, (I mean a hand, not a finger), and even tell them that I have to do it my way. Then they stand back and mutter about how simply amazing it is what disabled people can do, which I have to admit gives me a great deal of pleasure.

I´m thinking it´s a matter of communication.

And I think I´m gonna post something a bit more in extenso on this subject soon.

Daisies

Daisies:

Sometimes people are very honest and say they just want to see how it´s done with the chair and the transfer, if I would mind? And when I think they can take it I say `no, and for a buck or two I would even do it twice´.

 

 

Now that you mention it, I have had more than a few people tell me that they just want to see how it's done. I don't mind that too much, like you said, at least they're honest! 

Daisies:

You too? I can´t get my chair into my car if I don´t do it my way, which is completely without thinking.

 

Daisies:

You too? I can´t get my chair into my car if I don´t do it my way, which is completely without thinking.

Daisies:

But I have found that people really don´t mind to stay out of my hair when I ward them off with a clear gesture, (I mean a hand, not a finger), and even tell them that I have to do it my way. Then they stand back and mutter about how simply amazing it is what disabled people can do, which I have to admit gives me a great deal of pleasure.

 

 

yes, and yes. some people can't help helping, though, even when you tell them no thank you, i've been doing this awhile!  and, i can't get my chair into my car from the passenger side. (i don't have the kind that you take the wheels off, I hated that!) i mean, it can be done, but it takes time and sweat and cussing...lots and lots of cussing!  

cudachaser:

had people park in the stripped areas between disabled parking spots

 

 

i hate that!!  why are those stripes not self explanatory?! oh, wait, no, wait, they are, people just don't give a shit. 

sharon you and I are going to have to go a couple of rounds. You need to be part of the Oprah group I suggested. It was not a joke I am actually serious. I have learned a lot about the trouble of being in chairs from this site. I have a masters degree in science. No those stripes are not self explanatory. I never understood them b4 my TBI. I lead the disabled activities group as part of my graduate assistantship in a Southern state with no complaints. I give a shit and quite frankly i'm starting to take yours personally(it is a problem with my Invisible injury) Just because you are having a fight with your boyfriend on your cell phone while getting into your car DOES NOT give you the right to physically damage someone elses car repeatedly. Were you charged for the damage you caused? Could you not have just screamed out loud(this is actually quite freeing and doesn't hurt anyone) and then delt with this situation like the adult that you are? Go back in the market. Have them make an announcement,Have the car towed whatever, but criminal vandalisim disguised as now i'm correctly medicated, Come on. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{quote use sharonr from what i hate about.... i hate to admit this, but it's kinda funny now. i have bipolar disorder, and one day i was at target, and when i went back out to my car, someone was parked in the blue lines, and i was really going to be struggling to get my car in the backseat. well, this was a manic day, and when i'm manic, i tend to be really irritable, plus i was on the phone with my then-boyfriend, arguing with him. my door kept banging against the side of the car that was parked too close, and every time i pushed it back, i pushed it a little harder. i was so frustrated and pissy by the time i finally got my chair in that i sat in the drivers seat and slammed my door against the other car as hard as i could, several, several times! then i finally closed my door and started sobbing! lol! i'm properly medicated now, thank God!

Tracy:

I give a shit and quite frankly i'm starting to take yours personally

 

maybe i'm not understanding.....exactly what is it that you are giving a shit about and taking personally? are you in a wheelchair or not? i hate to sound snotty, but unless you are actually in a wheelchair and have personally physically experienced it for an extended time, there is no way to "understand" what it's like to be in a wheelchair by reading about people's experiences. i don't know what oprah group you're referring to, and quite frankly, i'm rather insulted that you think you have the right to chastise me when, as i said, unless you are in a wheelchair, you can have no idea what it's like day to day.

and to ease your civic-minded conscious, no, there was no damage caused to the other car, and i knew there wouldn't be from the several times my door hit the car from me simply trying to get my wheelchair in the car, before the anger really set in.  

 

I think many of us have done a little more than a bump a time or two Sharon and you are right damage isn't really the goal-it's just SO frustrating and I agree-if you aren't in a chair or you aren't very close to someone in a chair and truly understand how physically difficult it is to put a chair in the car with not enough room for thedoor AND how it's also embarassing....I've been dressed up for a job interview before and had no choice but to get on the floor of a filthy parking garage to get my chair in car that is parked LEGALLY (because someone parked in the stripes). What choice did I have? Go make an announcement and miss my job interview? There comes a point that we can't take on EVERY role that people think would right the wrongs against people with disabilities...we can't be teachers, police, parking enforcement, ADA compliance monitors, performers ("just because they are curious") AND live life.

 I also think that your honest explanation of your manic state, Sharon, was a huge part of the story that seems to have been glossed over. We're each learning about different parts of each others' disabilities and you stated accuratelyl that you were more irritable, already stressed out, and probably more impulsive at the time-I think there needs to be a little more understanding and a little less shaming.

~Kara