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Disaboom » Community » Families » FATHER DISABLED AND HEALTH BAD -- DAUGHTER AND EX WIFE DON'T CARE

FATHER DISABLED AND HEALTH BAD -- DAUGHTER AND EX WIFE DON'T CARE

Last post Fri, May 02 2008 6:33 PM by CNo64. 6 replies.


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  • STEELERS32 STEELERS32
    Posts: 2
    • permalink FATHER DISABLED AND HEALTH BAD...

    • Posted: Mon, Feb 25 2008 10:48 PM

    • I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 9 YEARS NOW AND MY HUSBAND HAS CELERY PALSY, SEIZURE DISORDER AND A LOT OF OTHER ISSUES .   EVERYTIME HE GETS SICK OR WORSE AND I TELL HIS DAUGHTER AND EX WIFE THEY DON'T CARE. THEY WILL BRING IT UP IN HIS FACE THAT HE DOES NOT DO ANYTHING FOR HERE AND THAT HE NEVER GIVES HER MONEY AND THAT I SHOULD GET OUT THERE AND WORK TO SUPPOERT HIM. I HAVE THREE YOUNGER CHILDRENAND RIGHT NOW CAN NOT WORK DUE TO HIS CONDITION.  I AM READY TO TELL THEM NOT TO EVEN BOTHER. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH AND GIVE ME ADVICE ON WHAT I SHOULD DO. THANKS........ MICHELE


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  • Blue Eyes Blue Eyes
    Posts: 68
    • permalink Re: FATHER DISABLED AND HEALTH...

    • Posted: Mon, Feb 25 2008 11:04 PM

    •  Have you contacted Social Security...if $$ is one of the issues then he should be more than eligible for help.  As for his ex and his daughter i won't comment on where they can go!!!


    • Blue Eyes
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  • CNo64 CNo64
    Posts: 134
    • permalink Re: FATHER DISABLED AND HEALTH...

    • Posted: Thu, May 01 2008 11:18 AM

    • This is awful, but this kind of thing happens more frequently than one might expect. People say, "Family will always stick with you," but in many cases that is simply not true. It's not anything you've done "wrong." Those two must be very unhappy, empty little people to react the way they did to this situation.
      I haven't heard from my sister since shortly after my nearly lethal hemorrhagic stroke in early 2001. She wrote our  mother a letter in which she claimed that our mother had told her "I'll only have time for Carla from now on." I know my mother never said any such thing, but my sister, who had gotten used to our mother doing her errands, cooking for her, etc., realized that she could no longer be the center of attention at all times. If she can't be "It," she doesn't want to play at all.  She's also been quoted as saying that I got what I "deserved" because I didn't take better care of myself. That made me angry, until I realized what she was actually saying was, "That is really scary, and I don't want something like that to happen to me, so I'm looking for reasons why it won't or can't." 
      All that to say: People behave in really bizarre ways when things like this happen. Many of them will cut and run.  You simply can't be sure of people, no matter who it is. The only One you can always count on is God. That sounds trite, but my experiences have taught me that it's true.
      It sounds like it would be futile and frustrating to expect any sort of support, emotional or otherwise, from these two empty, self-centered little people. Is there really any good reason to inform them when your husband has a medical crisis?
      It sounds like it might be healthier for you, and all the same to them, if you detach, as if they don't exist.
      There are better people out there.
      I wish you the very best.
      Please keep us updated.
      Carla N.


    • CarlaN
      God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty. 1 Corinthians 1:27

      http://www.friendshipmesquite.com

      http://www.savinganimalsviaeducation.org/
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  • TriDog TriDog
    Posts: 532
    • permalink Re: FATHER DISABLED AND HEALTH...

    • Posted: Thu, May 01 2008 12:06 PM

    • Have you looked into a Home Health Care aid for him?  with the kids in school/day care, that would free you up to go to work. 

       

      Just an idea.


    • Don't bitch about the cards ya got, just play the hand you were dealt.
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  • CNo64 CNo64
    Posts: 134
    • permalink Re: FATHER DISABLED AND HEALTH...

    • Posted: Fri, May 02 2008 5:27 PM

    • TriDog:

      Have you looked into a Home Health Care aid for him?  with the kids in school/day care, that would free you up to go to work. 

       

      Just an idea.


      It sounds like a good idea, except that home health and day care can both be quite expensive.
      If the wife had a job that paid enough to make it financially advantageous, even factoring in the costs of home health and day care, and that wouldn't leave her emotionally and/or physically depleted at the end of the day, it might work out great.
      There are jobs that allow one to work flexible hours, from home, but they don't usually pay very well.
      I wonder if there's a relative, friend or trusted neighbor who wouldn't mind entertaining the kids for a few hours each week.
      It's a tough place to be, for sure.

      Carla N.


    • CarlaN
      God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty. 1 Corinthians 1:27

      http://www.friendshipmesquite.com

      http://www.savinganimalsviaeducation.org/
    • Reply Contact
  • L2FRANK L2FRANK
    Posts: 12
    • permalink Re: FATHER DISABLED AND HEALTH...

    • Posted: Fri, May 02 2008 6:01 PM

    • i can relate i am in wheelcair from sept1, 2000 my wife told me go live  with       my mom, now from oct2007   i have to watched   my  mom    at 88 years old she can not remeber too take her med  i have too test her suger  and cook for her give 5 dif. meds 4 times a DAY MY KIDS DO NOT CARE or have there own prblems            


    • Filed under: narleywheels
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  • CNo64 CNo64
    Posts: 134
    • permalink Re: FATHER DISABLED AND HEALTH...

    • Posted: Fri, May 02 2008 6:33 PM

    • L2FRANK:

      i can relate i am in wheelcair from sept1, 2000 my wife told me go live  with       my mom, now from oct2007   i have to watched   my  mom    at 88 years old she can not remeber too take her med  i have too test her suger  and cook for her give 5 dif. meds 4 times a DAY MY KIDS DO NOT CARE or have there own prblems            


      My, oh, my, but isn't it a merry life, being a disabled caregiver?
      I am 44, wheelchair bound, with very little use of the left side of my body due to a  massive hemorrhagic stroke in early 2001.

      I live with my 68-year-old mother who, thank God, is in good physical health but has trouble with depression.
      People give me "helpful" advice, like, "Do more for yourself, so she won't be so stressed!" or "Take her out to dinner, to cheer her up!"
      For what it's worth, I think it's stinking of your kids to leave you to handle this situation alone as best you can, but people will do that. I haven't heard from my sister in seven years.
      If I didn't have my faith, I'd have been a raving lunatic long ago.

      Carla N.


    • CarlaN
      God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty. 1 Corinthians 1:27

      http://www.friendshipmesquite.com

      http://www.savinganimalsviaeducation.org/
    • Reply Contact
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