Last post Sun, Apr 20 2008 8:03 PM by astramillie. 6 replies.
The last time I had to change meds was 4 years ago after Geodon sent me to the hospital. They thought I'd had a stroke, but it was temporary Tardis dyskenisia caused by the med (I was in the hospital and after every test known to man the neurologist decided to look at the side effects of my psych meds. Ah ha! I always ask first now).
I am med resistant, which means that since I started taking meds seriously (about 10 years ago) I have gone through about 15 different combos. At that time I was living by myself and had already been decomposing, knowing it but not telling anyone. I had to change psych docs because my old one was too far away for the kind of care I was going to need. The new one and I never formed the bond I was used to. Plus, I had an "incident" with Zyprexa. I had been taking night meds for 10 years by that time and I had never, never, NEVER got into my car (even while taking Ambien and doing the sleep eating, bathing and telephoning). One night all I remember is thinking "I want something sweet." The next thing I remember is sitting on the curb with a police officer asking why I was in my pjs and slurring my words. I was completely honest with her, she let me go without even a ticket, but my car was totalled, my insurance company sued and I haven't driven since. And I soon did what I swore I would never do I went off me meds.
My parents as they had before swooped in and brought me to the little seaside town they had recently relocated to, I went back on the meds I had been taking minus the geodon (Lamictal and Seroquel, and the one med I never went off my Klonopin). I won't go into the horrors of finding a Dr. to get refills, that's a whole other story.
I started to realize that I was gaining weight for really no reason, my joints were in constant pain, my menses were all over the place, I was sleeping about 16 hrs a day, and I was having minor mood swings especially the mania where I got very angry. When I did find a Psych doc (we call him Dr. Crazy, not because of what type of Dr. he is but because, well he's a great doc but a little nuts) we went over all of these signs and realized that it was time to try something new. And that meant, I needed to go off the Seroquel, my beloved seroquel.
Its been awful. As I knew it would be. Mania all over the place. All of the typical side effects. But its getting better. On Friday I see Dr. Crazy where I assume we'll cut the seroquel, up the Abilify, keep the Remeron the same.
I'm posting this here as opposed to my blog to get a conversation started about med resistance. What I've been reading is that many people don't realize how many meds are out there and that one size does not fit all. Heck 5 sizes don't fit all. Its an awful process, torture. I'm lucky and have a support system in my family and many don't. Who else out there are going through this or just have?
Hi Astra,
I am almost totally med resistant for anything having to do with mental health or disorders of the brain. I can't take antidepressants, etc. Luckily, I don't usually need to take them. It sucks, though. I can't even take provigil for energy as it makes me tired! gah! anyway, it is really frustrating and hard to deal with. Good luck in your search.
Liesl
"People who think rape is about sex confuse the weapon with the motivation."Alice Vachss
I can't take them because they make me want to put a new roof on the house at 3 am! No anti-depressants for me, even if I've been having crying jags for a week! Luckily brain research is coming a long way.
astramillie
Hey Astid .... I take Neurotin arond 1800mg daily,,,I mix at nite with a lot of rum...Don't know how that affects me...I just wake every ,morning fully charged !!!! Not too good in the evenings though
Joe
Are you kidding about the rum? I took neurontin about 10 years ago and had to stop, but off the top of my head don't remember why, I think the tremors were beyond control.
Yes one drug or even many are the answer sometimes. Just never go off your drugs. Do a reduction with the doctors help and let your support system/family know. We have been decreasing my zoloft for depression. We did it little by little. This past time on the fourth day I woke up and said to myself that my life is over. The higher intellect in myself said I would deal with this. It was quite a change for such a small decrease. Fortunely I say my therapist and after proclaiming my life is over we talked and could see how the med decrease and a few things that had happened made me feel that way..The next day I was fine. I just say don't ever just go off yur drugs. Say this over and over and if you are temped you wont do it. Like Liesl provigil didn't keep me awakw and I take 90 mg of dexedrine for that. I have sleep apnea. Recently started with a new cpap machine and mask and I'm finally getting some sleep so there will be a time when we decrease the dexedrine. But it must be done slowly because it also helps with depression. Its a controlled substance. When I take it I don't feel anydifference but a regular person would be high as a kite. This world of medication is so tricky. I take quite a few. Have had good results with abilify which modulates the serotonin and the dopamine. I was first diagnosed with organic mood disorder ten years ago and it seems like a constant regime of starting and stoping different drugs. It gets tiring but I'm glad we do have the drugs. Just never go off them without doing it gradually and with the dr's ok and letting some one close to you know.
I wrote out a contract with my first psych doc about never going off meds. People think that "I feel so much better, I must not need my meds." and then the trouble starts. I've only gone off once, its a complicated story, mainly I was too agoraphobic to make it to a new psychiatrist's appointments and he dropped me. Luckily I was able to still get my Klonopin, without which not only is detox worse than detoxing off heroin (I'm told) but I couldn't even go into my backyard.
But, I'm back on meds, the new ones work but I need stronger doses but you have to ramp up as you said. Especially to take care of the mania that I'm experiencing from ramping off my seroquel. Unless there is some unseen circumstance I will never, never go off meds again. I just accept this is my life.
