Last post Sun, May 11 2008 5:59 PM by mitskev. 5 replies.
Have been battling with depression most of my adult life. Had a brain stem stroke in May of 2005 & was fortunate enough to have recovered enough to return to my job of managing a warehouse for a soft drink co. About a month ago, I knew something was wrong when I almost got rid of my dog because she needed a new ecollar. I thought the expense was not worth the friendship of 9 yrs. By the , I bought the ecollar. But I made an appointment with a mental heath professional, but had to wait about a month. In that time several things happened at work, I only worked 12 hrs a day which is ok, but let a project go in order to help my people with thier work so we wouldn't be there even longer. In turn, I was written up with the condition if it didn't improve, I would be terminated. My decision to to try to help my workers was based on my health & trying not to work longer. It turned out bad. Part of the write up was as a manger, my hrs are not set & I need to work extra hours to complete certain tasks. So I tried that this week & exhausted myself bnecause of 2-16 hrs days followed by a 14 hr day. By Thursday my appointment came due with the mental health professional. I found out how bad my depression was when I broke into tears & said I don't want to die, but I sure don't want to live like this, plus my answers to some other questions. She said she wanted me to go from there to the hospital for my safety, but I refused. She wrote a note not to return to work until Monday, & when I called to tell them that, work had a list of things they wanted the Dr. to fax them. Just like they didn't beliesve me when I said I'd bring the note on Monday. I feel like they're trying to develop a case against me. I know they couldn't know about how I feel if I work to hard,(stroke or depression), but I'm pushing myself to work 12 hrs. I don't qualify for disability, & lucky & glad I don't, but am scared what the outcome might be. I'm 58 years old & afraid if I lose my job of 30 yrs, I don't know what will happen. I feel like I'm just hanging by a thread, both my job & my life. Am trying to turn it over to a higher power, but just don't know where to turn while I'm waiting for an answer. Has anyone else suffered severe depession this long after a stroke? Any ideas what to do? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks, Mike
fishndad: I feel like I'm just hanging by a thread, both my job & my life. Am trying to turn it over to a higher power, but just don't know where to turn while I'm waiting for an answer. Has anyone else suffered severe depession this long after a stroke? Any ideas what to do? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks, Mike
I feel like I'm just hanging by a thread, both my job & my life. Am trying to turn it over to a higher power, but just don't know where to turn while I'm waiting for an answer. Has anyone else suffered severe depession this long after a stroke? Any ideas what to do? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks, Mike
You're right; it is *very* difficult to be in a situation like this, and just trust God and not worry, but I think that's exactly what you should do.
It does sound like your current employer is looking for an excuse to terminate you, but if that happens, you can get unemployment benefits, and you'll still have 30 years of experience under your belt. It may be that your right job is out there somewhere else.
I'm glad you sought help from a professional. From what I've seen and heard, depression following a stroke is common, to the point at which it's almost *expected.*
The fact that you had depression even before your stroke makes it sort of a "double whammy."
Cooperate with your doctor's suggestions, and be patient with yourself. You're a survivor, so don't ever lose sight of that!
Keep us posted.
Carla N.
You don't say if were taking meds or not for this long known issue. I shall presume you weren't. So we should rule out any drug interactions. After my stroke I tried to return to work about 6 six months later but I was lterally half the person I was because I couldn't multitask like I used to - let alone sign my name to documents because I was still partially paralysed on my rightside and right handed. I was weakened all over and had no more stamina to make the entire 8 day let alone a 14 hour one. Sounds to me like not only were you depressed but stressed to the max. This stress probably was the reason for your meltdown. Lighten up on yourself. You were definitely not ready to return to work and any medical professional advice would have backed you up. Even superman couldn't work that many hours - you worked yourself to exhaustion and the depression issue came to the forefront and took over. I think you'll find you do qualify for disability and find a real medical professional in your HMO or one on your own. Don't be ashamed or afraid of your conditions. You sound afshamed of the stigma - associated with those disabled by medical complications. You shouldn't care what others think - YOU should only care about you. You knew the answer all along and should persue that course of action again. Miracles and strength from a higher being can help but you can't always rely them - so you have to help yourself and do the right thing. A good medical professional and the right medication for you will - see one who does. Now ... any delays will only strengthen the power of the depression. I think you know that too. Returning to work and their silly expectations (my work expected me to carry on too) obviously took their toll on your physical & mental well being. Shame on them. Do the right thing for you.
mitskev: Returning to work and their silly expectations (my work expected me to carry on too) obviously took their toll on your physical & mental well being. Shame on them. Do the right thing for you.
Returning to work and their silly expectations (my work expected me to carry on too) obviously took their toll on your physical & mental well being. Shame on them. Do the right thing for you.
However, none of this is in any way your fault, so cut yourself some slack.If you're terminated, it will be essentially because you had a stroke. You might want to look into your legal options.
Are you a union member?
Do let us know how this all works out.
I have been depressed for the past 5 years since the first of my 5 strokes. I was on Fluoxatine,but now I am on Cymbalta. This website is the only thing that keeps me sane.
To the original poster - we all speak from our own experiences. We wouldn't make this stuff up for sure. You sound like a reasonable person and medication can help. Years of lab testing and clinical studies prove it. I can't tell you what you already know. We all couldn't possibly sway your decision to do what's best or right for you. Our good thoughts, hopes and wishes go out to you.
