Last post Thu, Aug 28 2008 11:22 AM by shellGVchick. 243 replies.
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Lets share a healthy run of JOKES!
Folks who tend to smile, feel better and live longer happier lives. Right?
"But, what about the ABSURD and WEIRD?" Well if it isn't likely to ruffle 'Disa-Feathers' [and rules] I'd say absolutely! "CARTOONS too?" Oh heck yeah, everybody loves a 'toon!!! IF your contribution "Feels Good" bring it! ALL WELCOMED!
I'll go first - this is definitely a feel-good vid.
Tag 'yer it!
Olivettexx0x0xx
YEP, U ROCK, UR TH BOMB!!!LOL,TOOTSIE
When I get old I am going to sail a big 'ol Cruise Ship into the 'sunset'.
I've heard that the average cost for an unskilled senior residence is approximately $200 per day. I've checked on reservations for a fancy Cruise Ship and I can book an extended cruise, with a senior discount, at $135 per day.
That leaves $65 a day for:
Gratuities, which will only be about $10 per day.
I can enjoy gourmet cuisine as often as 10 times a day (if I feel like waddling into their restaurants), or I can have room service bring me breakfast-in-bed every day of the week.
Cruise Ships have as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, movie theaters, stage shows and live bands every night.
They give everyone onboard free toothpaste and razors, plus free soap and shampoo. Sheets and towels are changed daily - and without asking the steward they'll leave fancy chocolates on my fluffy down pillows.
They treat old folks like high-dollar clients, not as medical patients. (Add an extra $5 in tips, and the staff will be scrambling to assist in every way imaginable.)
I'll meet new people every 7 or 14 days - and visit new ports and country's every other day!
I'll have exciting excursions and group activities available for me all week, every week!
T.V. fuzzy? Light bulb need changing? Want an extra soft mattress pad? No Problem! They will fix everything hastily, and apologize for your inconvenience.
Not to mention.... if I fall in the nursing home and break a hip I am S.O.L -- If I fall and break a hip on the ship they'll upgrade me to an elite suite for the rest of my life!
I purdy sure I can live with that!
Olivette
Way to go, Olivette! Great idea. Hey, can I join you on that cruise ship? Here's my contribution, which I received from a girlfriend in an e-mail, and I edited just a bit. My favorite is the last part, WOO HOO!!!
Becky
Happy IVGLDSW Day!Today is International Very Good Looking, Dang Smart Woman's Day, so please send this message to someone you think fits this description.Please do not send it back to me as I have already received it from a Very Good Looking, Dang Smart Woman! Remember this motto to live by: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO what a ride!'Have a wonderful day!
Lets see if this works.
Becky: Way to go, Olivette! Great idea. Hey, can I join you on that cruise ship?
Way to go, Olivette! Great idea. Hey, can I join you on that cruise ship?
SURE, you can sail away with me!!! We'll tear up that cruise ship fer sher grrrrl!______________________________
New Joke:
Three very old ladies were ruminating about their aches, pains and bodily dysfunctions.
One seventy-five year old woman says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to finally pee."
An eighty year old woman says, "I'm worse. I get up at eight and I sit there while I grunt and groan for half an hour before I can finally poo."
The ninety year old woman grumbled, "This morning at seven I pee'd like a race horse, and by eight I crapped like a cow."
"So what's the problem with that?" both women puzzled.
"I didn't wake up until nine."
LMAO on that one, Olivette! Good one.
I was going to put in a few pictures here, but I can't. Anyone know how to insert an image? I tried clicking "Insert/Edit Image," but it didn't work. Let me know, please!!!
Becky: I was going to put in a few pictures here, but I can't. Anyone know how to insert an image?
I was going to put in a few pictures here, but I can't. Anyone know how to insert an image?
Sher... The picture (video, whatever) has to be hosted online already. You can't paste a photo directly from an email, or your computer, etc. If you need a place to store stuff you want to post online - try webshots.com or photobucket.com - they host pic's for free, and its a nice place to share pictures and vid's with others (and never loose stuff on a crashed hard drive either).
It worked!
