Last post Thu, Jul 03 2008 12:38 AM by Becky. 13 replies.
Disaboom embarrassed me big time.
Ever since I found Disaboom I praised it into the blue skies to my friend, and tried to get her to join too.
Took some persuasion and niggling, but finally, when she dropped by for a visit, she agreed, and let me set up an account for her.
I was sooo excited, and made sure to paint the prettiest picture of this community. Everybody is sooo nice! And sooo helpful!! It will be sooo good for You and help You come to terms!
I knew she did it just to please me, but I was utterly convinced that it would be good for her.
Then she dropped by for another visit, not two weeks ago. She wanted to accompany me for a day trip to the coast.
It was planned to be a fun day, and turned out a stressful nightmare for Kat, when she had to take me to the hospital.
She is from Holland, so her German isn't very good, and English is only her second language too.
She was scared, she was confused, and quite helpless.
She posted here in the longest thread, probably looking just for some sort of support, but didn't get a single response, which obviously let her reservations about this place surface again.
Though when the get-well wishes started to come in, it reconciled her I think.
Then came Becky.
With complete disregard for polite manners and Kat's unique situation, she had nothing better to do but to first give her a hard time, and finally to insult her.
I had tried to apologize to Becky three times, but in her very special way Becky made that out as more insult.
Where Disaboom comes into this?
Nobody cared!
Neither the community, nor the administration.
Got a call from Kat's mom. The whole thing did wonders for her self esteem. (I'm being sarcastic here.)
So, thanks, everybody.
Daisies
Daisies, on behalf of Disaboom, I want to say how sorry I am that your friend became discouraged after posting on our site. We, of course, want all of our community to have the best experiences here. We would like to do whatever we can to make that possible. But people aren't always perfect, and neither is Disaboom. While we can't always take care of problems the minute they occur, once we become aware of them, we want to try very hard to make things good for everyone. I can assure you that Disaboom's management DOES care - and I believe our community does, too. I also believe that everything you told Kat about our community being nice and helpful is true. I'm hoping that you, or we, could persuade Kat to give us another try.
Daisies as for me I was so confused about what was going on until you explained it to me. I really do hope that you don't blame me or anyone else that was confused about the whole situation. If Kat doesn't want to go to the posts she can, and you can always have private messages with me. I want to help anyway I can. YOU TWO HAVE A VERY FUN AND STRESS FREE 4TH OF JULY!!!!!! Take Care Now, Sandy
Hi Daisies,
I think none of us knows of anyone else's unique situations unless we are informed of such. About her post, I read it after Leisl's thread for get well wishes to you. This is a caring community and just possible her post about you had not been read by anyone who knows of you. I know the wonderful members of Disaboom would have responded if they had read it. I saw nothing from Becky to your friend that was insulting. Maybe I missed it, don't know. Most of us are at times extremely oversensitive. I wonder how it is that Disaboom embarrassed you.
Sherry
ArizonaSherry: Most of us are at times extremely oversensitive. I wonder how it is that Disaboom embarrassed you.
Becky called Kat my "psycho friend".
And it is embarrassing that not one was willing to say that this is not the way we interact here on Disaboom.
Becky knew of Kat's unique situation. The day before she had responded to Kat's post about her recent amputation, and as soon I was back from hospital I apologized on Kat's behalf for singling Becky out, explaining how difficult the situation was for her.
Daisies,
I see. Thanks for more information.
Nibbly, r u tHERE? me w/in Jesus
DAISIES SO SORRY THIS STUFF HAS CONTINUED.
I HONESTLY HOPE YOUR FRIEND WILL CHANGE THEIR MIND. MAYBE JUST NEED TO STEP BACK FOR A BIT. FROM WHAT I SAW THEY ARE SUPER NICE AND FRIENDLY.
I TRIED TO DEFUSE IT THAT DAY YOU CAME HOME THE SHIT WAS FLYING ALL OVER THE PLACE.
YOUR FRIEND KNOWS ONE PERSON AT LEAST, YOU AND IF THEY COME BACK THEY WILL KNOW A LOT MORE IN TIME.
NO ONE NEEDS THIS CONTINUED STRESS, WE ALL HAVE ENOUGH ON OUR PLATES.
HANG IN THERE, AND THE VERY BEST TO YOUR FRIEND.
SHELLEY
I am REALLY sorry that this happened to you and your friend. I have found many here at Disaboom to be really caring and supportive. At the same time, I think it is fair to say that we can only expect so much from an on-line Discussion Board that is not really moderated, except for "obscenity," and does allow almost total free expression of ideas.
I myself went through a period where I was under attack by some people almost daily. It is very awful to feel that people don't care. I think that you must know how much people care about you because of the outpouring there has been for your situation/condition. For myself, it was more of an issue regarding my opinions, and I simply made the decision not to Post here on those controversial subjects on most occasions.
As a "community" we are made of a wide variety of folks from different countries, classes, educational backgrounds, and levels of acceptable behavior. I hope that you know that there are some who can be PM'd in times of crisis. I hope you know who they are for the future.
I AM ONE. PM me if you ever need help again. My husband, Kirpalson, is another. And I know you know who your friends are. I would say, if you can, to let the others "go," as holding the negative only hurts you. A hard lesson, but one that I have found helpful in many areas of life. Also realize that confusions can develop, and not everyone is "on-line" at every moment to help in a time of crisis.
I hope you are feeling better now, and will continue to do so! My warmest thoughts to you and your friend. bonnie
Are we expected to say or do something about this? Sounds like a lot of personal things got confused and/or misunderstood among a few people.
Let's not expect more out of Disaboom than Disaboom expects out of us, maybe? It's a website, after all, not a 24-hour hotline for crisis intervention.
Justin
Dasies, I have not been around much, but upon reading this I want to say how sorry I am that this happened. One thing I believe about communicating online is that we cannot see each others facial expressions or body language. These can be a big part of communication. The way we say something can be taken entirely wrong depending on so many factors. Someone from another background may not understand my joking manner, figures of speech, sarcasm, feelings or situation. I do not necessarily say this in judgement of this particular situation, but it's so important we are all aware of how something like this can happen even in the most innocent of situations. The important thing is that we do our best to support each another. I so hope your friend will come back to us and give Disaboom another chance. I know I often get caught up in my own struggles and forget to be there for others. Today I hope I can be here for you and your dear friend. With much compassion, pambe
Daisies: Disaboom embarrassed me big time. Ever since I found Disaboom I praised it into the blue skies to my friend, and tried to get her to join too. Took some persuasion and niggling, but finally, when she dropped by for a visit, she agreed, and let me set up an account for her. I was sooo excited, and made sure to paint the prettiest picture of this community. Everybody is sooo nice! And sooo helpful!! It will be sooo good for You and help You come to terms! I knew she did it just to please me, but I was utterly convinced that it would be good for her. Then she dropped by for another visit, not two weeks ago. She wanted to accompany me for a day trip to the coast. It was planned to be a fun day, and turned out a stressful nightmare for Kat, when she had to take me to the hospital. She is from Holland, so her German isn't very good, and English is only her second language too. She was scared, she was confused, and quite helpless. She posted here in the longest thread, probably looking just for some sort of support, but didn't get a single response, which obviously let her reservations about this place surface again. Though when the get-well wishes started to come in, it reconciled her I think. Then came Becky. With complete disregard for polite manners and Kat's unique situation, she had nothing better to do but to first give her a hard time, and finally to insult her. I had tried to apologize to Becky three times, but in her very special way Becky made that out as more insult. Where Disaboom comes into this? Nobody cared! Neither the community, nor the administration. Got a call from Kat's mom. The whole thing did wonders for her self esteem. (I'm being sarcastic here.) So, thanks, everybody. Daisies
You just will not let this go. You will just not leave me alone, will you. I have asked you too leave me alone and I have ignored your comments to me, trying to get you to do leave me alone. I have now broken my vow of promising not to say anything further to you, just to respond to this ridiculous post, another attempt by you to make me look like I'm the bad person and you and Kat are so innocent.
If you will look at the dates and times I have responded to Kat, you will see that in my initial post to her, I welcomed her warmly to the site. I even said something about her name. The next thing I know, she is lambasting me with negative comments. Funny, she said all I do here is make one effrontery after another. Well, what do you call what she did to me? And for that matter, what you do to me, time after time.
Kat did not appear to be having too hard of a time, when she chose to insult me. I just defended myself. What else was I supposed to do? Let her degrade me? No. Insult her????? What did she do to me, in an unprovoked attack? You two think you never do anything wrong do you? You can insult me, but I can't say anything back? I should just let Kat and Daisies walk all over me. Well, I've had it with you. You call me on everything I do wrong, yet you forget the mean and spiteful things you have said to people. You accused someone of spamming the site, when she had only made two posts ever on this site. Yeah, right. You get all snotty when someone called you "Daisy," and a new member too. I could go on and on about your effronteries. You have the nerve to sit there and pretend that you are "Daisies, the most friendly person on this site"? Please, don't make me laugh.
You are lying when you say you "tried" to apologize to me. You have never apologized to me, tried to or not. Provide the proof that you did. If you call that message you sent me the other night an apology, think again. I didn't see any words in there about any apology or "I'm sorry." No, and before you left, you managed to say something else about me on another post, about how I was rude to Kat. Well, who was rude first? Not me. I told her to "Bite Me," because I'm not going to argue with someone who is going crazed over what I say.
I'm not going to sit here and be a whipping post for you and Kat, just to make you feel better. Not anymore. I have tried to be friendly to you and you have been as mean and spiteful as you can be, obviously even turning Kat against me. I am not the reason for your problems and I wish you would quit blaming me for them. Blame yourself! You made your bed, now lie in it.
Maybe Disaboom did nothing, because you were the one who did something wrong and not me. Ever think about that, "Daisies the wonder poster"? "The friend of all on Disaboom?"
Becky
Daisies: ArizonaSherry: Most of us are at times extremely oversensitive. I wonder how it is that Disaboom embarrassed you. Becky called Kat my "psycho friend". And it is embarrassing that not one was willing to say that this is not the way we interact here on Disaboom. Becky knew of Kat's unique situation. The day before she had responded to Kat's post about her recent amputation, and as soon I was back from hospital I apologized on Kat's behalf for singling Becky out, explaining how difficult the situation was for her.
That was an apology????? You have no idea what an apology is. You went after me too. I had the both of you after me. You couldn't have been that sick, if you were well enough to attack me.
[Quick Reply]
Becky, I'm not gonna go on where Kat left off in the other thread.
Please keep in mind that Kat has been at the receiving end of my rantings about your conduct here on Disaboom ever since you called me worthless.
Plus, the whole day has gone so completely awry. Kat came here to accompany me on a day-trip to the coast. It was my daughter's birthday, and it was supposed to be something special.
And since we correspond on paper mostly she had no idea I was in such a bad state. Picture her worry to come here and find me wheezing, and out of breath after every sentence.
She sure didn't mean to kick up dust here, but she still is pretty shaken about her own amputation, and the whole day just wasn't very easy for her.
Becky, nobody is blaming my troubles on you. I know I haven't exactly advertised all over the place what scares me. But I did mention it. Posts about my current health problems were way more frequent though. And if you keep claiming not to know anything I have to wonder if you are so full of yourself that you don't even care to read what others have to say in a thread, that you think it's only your answer that matters.
You sure have a funny way of making an apology. You are less than truthful in everything you say.
