Born in Mexico, Tamara Mena and her mother moved to California to join their extended family, in search for better opportunities hoping to live the American dream. Tamara had to overcome many challenges, but always remained focused on her life-long goal to graduate from college. Everything was going as Tamara had planned until the night that changed their lives forever.
“On a dark Saturday night, my boyfriend, Patrick, and I along with some of our friends took a taxi to Rosarito Beach, explained Tamara. “We had hoped for a fun night, but we never made it to our destination. We struck a horse standing in the middle of the road. Patrick pushed me down to protect me. The horse fell on top of the car and crushed the left side of the roof all the way down to seat level, leaving me paralyzed from mid-chest down. My boyfriend, Patrick, and the taxi driver were killed instantly, but thanks to God I was given a second chance. Basically the horse fell on top of my back, crushed my spine and severed my spinal cord, fractured my ribs, facial bones, clavicle, scapula, and collapsed my lungs. The tracheotomy, which helped me breathe and survive, prevented me from speaking for two months. I did not have a voice; I could only move my mouth. I went from being fully independent and on top of the world to feeling as dependent as a baby.”
Disaboom: Deciding to move on after your accident that changed your life forever, and actually doing it are two different things, tell us how you made that happen.\
On the Importance of Education
Tamara: “The first thing I had to do was work arduously to regain my independence, all so I could go back to college and finish strong. I wanted to be passionate about the Communications major I chose to study. I knew I had to get an education so that I could work and give back. That was my number one goal. At first when everything happened, my mother couldn’t see how that would be possible, but the first thing I said at the hospital when I had a voice and I could actually speak, was ‘Don’t worry mom, I will go back to school and graduate.’ Even with the countless obstacles I faced including several hospitalizations while I was in school, my mom, family and friends were very supportive and always there for me, I worked very hard and graduated Summa Cum Laude. One of my proudest and most memorable moments was delivering the commencement speech to my classmates and an audience of over 10,000 people.”
Disaboom: Today, you are a motivational speaker and an advocate for the disabled community. What propels you out of your house in the morning to face another day?
On Motivation and Attitude
Tamara: “Generally in life, but even more so when we face tragedies, we have the ability to see ourselves either as survivors and fighters or victims. Life is what we make of it, and we have the power to do ANYTHING. Years ago, before my accident, I wish I had in fact believed this. I wish I had truly believed in myself and in the great opportunities that we can all achieve. This is one of the main reasons today, I want people to know and believe that, regardless of any circumstances, possibilities are endless. It’s all in our minds. You just have to believe.”
Disaboom: I know that you encourage people with disabilities to go back to school or work. What advice do you give them?
On Employment
Tamara: “Absolutely I encourage them because everyone has so much to give, and being a productive member of society will only make you feel so much better about yourself. But here’s what I have found in talking with people:
"Most people with disabilities are scared they will immediately lose their benefits if they go back to work: This is a fallacy. Ticket to Work will support you. They don’t just drop you when you decide to go back to work; they will work through the process with you. You have trial work months to see how a potential job will meet your needs. They do not just strip away your benefits. I tell people to do their research – find out what is available. Don’t be intimidated, or fearful. Many people are and they don’t necessarily even have the proper knowledge. See I was scared, and I wish someone had told me this information years ago. Even with my fear, I was not going to put all that hard work into going back to school and graduating to not work and give back to society. Go on-line, talk to a counselor. Visit your local Ticket to Work chapter. Do your homework. Even when the process might seem complicated and overwhelming, the counselors at Ticket to Work and other organizations such as Department of Rehabilitation or Independent Living Centers’ are very helpful and supportive. They all want to see people with disabilities succeed. They have a great amount of knowledge to share, so seek the help."
“I believe that success breeds success and every victory makes you want the next victory.”
Disaboom: Could you share some of your wisdom based on your personal experiences in job interviews:
On Job Interviews
Tamara: “First of all you have to have skills – that’s why education is so important and I can’t stress that enough– and you have to be willing to learn. Just like any able-bodied person approaching new employment, your resume should be professional, and you should always dress appropriately for the job. Aside from that, I tell people:
1. Show confidence. When you know that your skills match the job requirements, you should be confident. To many employers, a set of skills might be important, but even more important is to show that you have the drive and ambition to learn the skills necessary. Sometimes showing this drive and willingness to learn is by far more important. When you show confidence, I have found that people forget about the chair, in any circumstance the chair/disability becomes secondary.
2. Be aware of your energy level. A prospective employer will be looking at that. What you exude will tell a lot about your overall energy and what you bring to the table.
3. Present a good attitude. The person interviewing you will be asking themselves, “How well will I be able to work with this person everyday?” Good energy and a good attitude go hand-in-hand and will make people want to work with you or help them see themselves working with you.”
4. Don’t put the focus on the wheelchair: I usually don’t tell someone before I go to an interview that I use a wheelchair, unless I have concerns of wheelchair accessibility into the building. After all, even though the wheelchair is part of me, it is not who I am and it doesn’t define me. When we first meet, I may say something about it to break the ice, so it’s not awkward, but my main goal is to show what I can offer them based on my knowledge and skills.
5. Gauge the type of employer they will be: Do ask yourself if they are the right fit for you. Did they seem empathetic and understanding? They don’t need to feel sorry for you in any way because of your disability, but they should show a level of understanding or the desire to understand your situation. This is important for a good working relationship to last.
6. Passion for the job: Lastly, don’t forget that whatever you decide to do, whatever job you decide to apply for, find the passion in it. Be truly passionate about your career because it will make your life much richer than all the money in the world.
Disaboom: You have had experience with the Social Security Administration. Are there any tips you can give people about SSDI?
On Social Security Disability Insurance
Tamara: Yes, be honest with them. They are willing to work with you and could be quite helpful. The sad thing is they are more used to working with people who are living on their benefits and never go back to work. Let them know about your decision to go back to work, and report back to them. Let them know when you get a job and report your income. Not reporting your income might hurt you more in the long run than help you; still, don’t be afraid because they’re willing to help you succeed.
Disaboom: Besides Ticket to Work and SSDI are there other places people can go for advice?
On Employment Resources
Tamara: I actually went to a counselor at an Independent Living Center – she was very helpful. And of course, the Department of Rehabilitation is a good resource. I advise anyone to go to the office. I know, it’s more convenient to call, but you’ll achieve a lot more if you go can over the whole process in person.
Disaboom: It sounds like your experiences with Ticket to Work, and SSDI was positive, and obviously you are working and enjoying life. Any last word of encouragement?
Tamara: Don’t sit back. Life is too beautiful with endless possibilities to let it pass by. Don’t be afraid to knock on doors. Let ego out of the door and start knocking on people’s doors and opportunities will come. I’ve had to work very hard and knock on countless doors. Take charge of your life. What you achieve is up to you. Do the work and your part. As I said previously, every victory makes you hungry for the next victory – achievement is contagious, and I firmly believe we all have great potential. Don’t forget that what you do has the power to motivate others, so as you believe and achieve, help others believe.
For more about Tamara Mena go to: www.tamaramena.com
