Have you ever heard the old adage, “When it comes to planning a wedding, brides and grooms should expect the unexpected?” Well, here’s a story that proves the adage is true especially when it comes to wheelchairs and weddings. As my fiancée, Sarah, and I recently learned on our final planning trip to Charlottesville, Virginia, the location of our upcoming wedding, it’s not just the unpredictable variables like weather and traffic that can potentially impact the Big Day.
When we selected the historic University of Virginia Chapel for our ceremony, we knew the layout would present a few challenges for me as a wheelchair user. Unlike several of the more modern Charlottesville churches and chapels with wide aisles, accessible pews and few (if any) steps, this 1889 Gothic Revival building has tight corners, narrow doorways and several steps separating the main level from the altar. To allow access through the front door, the University maintains a portable ramp for patrons with disabilities.
The logistics did not seem overly complicated. Being a creative and imaginative couple, we developed solutions and planned a program that would allow me, as well as invited guests with disabilities, to enjoy the historic occasion on the altar, as well as throughout the entire Chapel, just like everyone else. We thought everything was in order.
What we did not anticipate was what might be happening outside the Chapel on the day of our wedding.
When we arrived to review the logistics of the ceremony one final time, we were greeted by white and yellow lines spray painted on the grass and brick walkways surrounding the front door. The earth was broken in various places and several trees had been removed in what appeared to be the preliminary stages of a seemingly major renovation project. We wondered what was happening and thought about how these changes might impact our Big Day.
It did not take us long to find the answer. The University had recently begun a two month ground renovation project around the Chapel to coincide with the winter academic break and slow event season (two of the main reasons we selected the time and location for our wedding in the first place). While the inside of the Chapel would be as beautiful as ever, the outside would appear more suited for hard hats and boots than tuxedos and gowns.
The reason why the renovation was being completed struck us as ironic. After one hundred twenty years of literally hosting thousands of weddings for brides and grooms on two feet, the front entrance was being closed as a grounds crew reshaped the topography, raised the brick walkway and eliminated the stairs in order to make the front entrance fully ADA compliant!
Yes, this current UVA Chapel groom in a wheelchair (one of the few we were told) and his bride-to-be will not be able to enter and exit through the front door on the most important day of our lives because the Chapel is being made accessible for future grooms and brides (as well as their invited guests) in wheelchairs.
The irony had us in stitches.
But no obstacle – natural or man made – can stand in the way of romance. After laughing about the situation, we came up with a solution. When our photographer mentioned that she typically takes her brides and grooms to the side doors for photographs because the lighting is better and the stonework is more ornate, we decided to eliminate the front door from the ceremony entirely and ask everyone to join us by entering and exiting through the side doors.
How will this unexpected twist make the day more memorable? My mother volunteered to craft wreathes for the doors, our guests will enjoy an out-of-the ordinary reception by our ushers and the bride, herself, will always have the memory of a uniquely historic walk up, then down, the aisle effectively giving this groom-to-be more time to soak in the moment and celebrate the
sight, feeling and unpredictability of true love.
