About Me

Long, long ago, I was an able-bodied adult. I could walk for miles, work double shifts as a nurse, keep up with the housework and still have hobbies. Then I turned 50, and it all went to hell. The first sign of trouble was sleep apnea. I had a 60 hour a week job, and I was falling asleep during the morning meeting. And when I was driving. And seemingly, anytime I sat down. Well, I was new to Seattle, but I went to the local University's physician's network. It took me two months to get in to see a pulmonologist, and another two months have a sleep test. Which is rather like putting a bandaid on an amputation. Even though my bosses could see me falling asleep in the morning meeting, they still thought I should take the place of every nurse who called in sick. When you are falling asleep on the way to work, after all night in bed, it's very difficult to work 16 hours in a row. And they wondered why I quit. Nurses are notorious, I am afraid for abusing other nurses. I am literally in danger of dying, from a traffic accident if nothing else, but everybody else gets to call in with a cold. Bitter, me? No, not much. This added to the mild (usually) depression that plagued me since, probably, childhood. Anyway, I remember crying through the first seven grades at school. And the (usually) mild fibromyalgia that came seven years earlier as a sequlae of a traffic accident.All this made it very difficult to get another job, but after about six months, I did. But I was working nights, and I really needed a less physically demanding job. I eventually got one in a call center, but didn't fit in with the corporate culture, which was militaritstic. Then I tore my Achille's tendon, and was off my feet for three months. I went back to work, and then my knees started hurting. Well, actually, they had been giving me fits for years, and I had ignored them. X-rays showed they were bone on bone with osteoarthritis. Nurses take care of everyone but themselves. I am not the only nurse out there who has gone to work when s/he should have been off their feet at home in bed with an ice pack. I'm afraid the pain made me a teensy bit irritable,and I got myself fired. And after that I sustained a (L) radial head fracture that required plates and screws. My boyfriend decided we should separate. I ended up in the psych ward for10 days. And then I was jobless, friendless, and homeless Fortunately, I had a soft landing in my homelessness. I went right from the apartment I had lived in with my boyfriend to the The Aloha Inn. After six months there I was able to get an apartment in public housing. I spent the next four years on welfare, trying to get SSDI. I eventually did. Sometimes I think I would like to go back to some kind of work, but I am afraid I would buckle under pressure. All in all however, I lead a charmed life. Nothing I have will kill me, it just inconveniences me greatly. My dad bought me a scooter, so I can get around. I have a wonderful service dog, who unfortunately is getting old and feeble herself. The boyfriend I separated from is back in my life as a friend with benefits. It only took me 18 months to get into public housing after I applied. Magically delicious.