About Me

Hi all I am a child of God in which have been even before I was born. only through Him have I been able to cope with lifes most challenging events. I am a survivor, a child of the system and am now fighting one of the most painful things in my life. I have always enjoyed a challenge and always over come everyone. I was a disciplinary supervisor in a prison for 6 years. A tomboy from way back motorcycles and all, the harder the better. I was a one woman member of the S.O.R.T. team the men in black you see on tv. I was injured in a seg unit where I busted my l-5 disc. Hard headed as I was took me forever to go to a dr. Got down to walking with a cane because I didn't want to miss work, some how I thought they couldn't make it with out me. When I did, it was too late, nothing could be done but surgery and the power of prayer which always exists. You all might know how those workers comp dr.s are though only doing enough to get by and sometime creating a problem worse than you had to begin with so they can do it again and get more money. That's the catagory I fell into, I was on a walker after the first surgery and in more pain than I was before the first. Begged the idiot to do another mri in which he said it's just normal pain. I knew my body and I knew it wasnt. Finally he allowed another scan. Oh he say's imagine that, I need to do another surgery it's worse now than it was before. Must have happened during recovery he says when you were trying to turn over in bed or something. Please............. This time my vertabrea was collapsed which of course spit the rest of the disc he didn't take out into the spinal canal which in turn caused some of the most horrifing spasms ever felt. So here we go again surgery la la la. I don't know what he did this time but the pain was so excrucating and they kept me pumped up on morphine. Morphine isn't that stupid? I tole the nurse get me off this crap because it was only making me puke and give me a pill something lighter because it wasnt taking away the pain only busting my spine what was left of it every time I threw up from the stuff. Oh no she says youre not ready for something lighter you have to have this I said if you dont take this stuff away I will crawl out of this hospital and return in a wheel chair only to court to sue you and the hospital and dr. jeckle. They handed me my release papers so fast the next morning their head was spinning too. Now I have degenerative disc disease what ever that is if you have no disc how can it degenerate? Pain yep, much much, I have a high tolerance in which I'm not proud to say because I thing no one or anything should have to endure any. I won my workmans comp case guess they figured a little bit of cash would solve the whole issue. Got life time medical what ever that means. Basically you can't talk to your worker because she either hates people or her job don't know which but refuses to do a d&*&*& thing for you. Disabled, yes I can't run, ride a horse, ride a lawn mower, pick up my dogs, pick up a laundry basket without being laid up in the bed the next day. Sit for long periods of time stand for long periods of time, what you ask are long periods of time? I can't go to Wal-Mart and shop like most women do the mall please..... havn't seen one in so long I don't know what they have in there. Angry, you bet, feling guilty of course why I don't know. Maybe it's because sometimes I feel like I don't have anything worthy to contribute like I once did. Maybe it's because I'm studying criminal justice now and i know I'll be in a wheel chair by the time I get done. Maybe it's because I can't be with the love of my life besides Christ the way I want to be. Helping others, I've always been that way don't let me see anyone abuse anything in any way shape or form. Honesty integrity and loyalty I still have, my back I dont. Could it be worse of course it could look at superman.