No one is going to believe this, but I swear it’s true! Remember how I said in my last column that my husband herniated a disk and I really hoped he didn’t need surgery? Well, guess what? He needs surgery! Here I am, starting my 9th month of pregnancy, paralyzed, living in an almost finished remodeled house (more on that below) and my able-bodied (AB) husband needs back surgery.
Now there is nothing simple about back surgery of any kind. Everyone I have talked to has horror stories to share about people they know who had back surgery (I don’t understand why they can’t just keep those stories to themselves, they really aren’t helpful right now!). Nevertheless, it’s true, back surgery is serious stuff, as those of us who’ve been through it know.
We saw the doctor last week and he showed us Jeff’s MRI. All I can say after seeing it is at least I know that Jeff isn’t faking the pain. His disk between L5 and S1 is completely ruptured and buldging into his spinal canal, putting immense pressure on his nerves running down to his legs. The doctor told us all things considered, he would recommend Jeff getting the discoctomy ASAP.
The recovery period from this type of surgery is no lifting for four weeks which means that Jeff might not be able to hold the baby when it’s first born. Not to mention all the work he was supposed to do to finish the remodel (more below) and set up the nursery, etc. Now I am the mobile and functional one in our relationship. At almost nine months pregnant, that’s really scary!
Can you believe this? Here I am, paralyzed, expecting my first child in five weeks and my normally strong and healthy, AB husband needs back surgery (sorry, jut a little self pity). I couldn’t believe it when the doctor told us. I was so overwhelmed all I could do was laugh. I think if I had cried, I might not have ever stopped.
I once read a quote from Mother Theresa that reads something like: “I know God won’t ever give me more than I can handle. Sometimes I just wish he didn’t trust me so much!” Man, I can seriously relate to that quote right now!
I feel like I did when I was first injured, 19 years ago. I have no idea how I am going to get through this. But, what I can tell you is that because of having survived my disability and many other challenges, I have the faith and strength to know that even though I have no idea how I will survive, I do know I will survive this latest challenge. That knowledge is reassuring and empowering.
Thankfully, I do have a wonderful group of friends and family and I know they will help out as much as possible. I just have to get better at asking for help--a huge challenge for me. Nevertheless, I do know that we can’t do this alone, especially under the current circumstances. Don’t you sometimes wonder when the learning of lessons and overcoming challenges will stop?
I really feel for this baby though. Because we have so much other stuff going on, we haven’t spent the time enjoying and preparing for this baby as I had wanted. As I mentioned before, we are still finishing our addition/remodel. While it’s “almost” finished according to our contractors, I’m still not living in my new bedroom and most of my belongings are packed away in bags, I can’t find anything and still have no kitchen.
If I can spare anyone else the frustration and challenge, please, if you get pregnant, don’t try to redo your whole house before the baby comes, it will be fine the way it is. I really don’t think it’s worth the stress and having a deadline like a new baby is not what you want.
While our contractors knew about the baby, and knew I was due on Christmas, I’m convinced they really don’t care if it gets done. They promised us that it would be finished at the latest by the end of September and that it would cost no more than their “high” budget. Sound familiar? Isn’t that what all contractors tell you so you will do the project? Oh well, the baby won’t care if its nursery is finished or not, but I do hope to at least have a functioning kitchen and a bedroom, the rest is just icing!
I can’t believe with all of the chaos going on in my life how easy my pregnancy really is going. At each doctor’s visit, I keep expecting him to discover a complication or something that isn’t right, but every time he keeps telling me how great it’s all going. The baby is right on for development. It’s head-down and in the position for a normal delivery.
I get lots of great kicks and belly moves regularly. It’s all going so well, it actually scares me. It’s just too easy and good! Of course, getting around and transferring with 20+ pounds in my belly is more difficult, but overall, I have had a pretty easy pregnancy. I have to admit I am eternally grateful that it is going so well and easy. Perhaps it’s just a sign that this baby is going to be an angel, sleep through the night, never cry and just be perfect. Ok, well, I can at least hope!
See Related Articles
Check out Muffy's previous pregnancy blog, Disability and Pregnancy, Part 11 - Week 33.
See Muffy's follow-up blog, Disability and Pregnancy, Part 13 - Week 38.
For more information on Muffy, visit Muffy's Disaboom member profile.
