I have to share my latest experience with you all. It was, I expect, the first of a lifetime of worries and fears regarding our, as of yet, unborn child. Okay, so it really wasn’t that big of a worry, but to me—a neurotic, first-time mother—it was a stressful event.
So here’s the story: early last week I had the wonderful experience of seeing the baby move—not actually feeling it move yet—but if I would lie down and watch, I could see my belly move. Watching it jump slightly from a kick or punch was the most wonderful experience to witness. It was the first time I actually knew for certain that a baby was growing inside my ever-expanding belly. It was kind of freaky, but totally awesome at the same time.
I had so much fun watching the jumps and bumps of my belly that I began talking to the baby while I could see it thrashing around. Some nights I would even play my favorite Elton John song, "Blessed", and sing along. It seemed to me, from the movements the baby made, that my child either loved or hated this musical experience. I thought maybe the baby was saying, “Mommy, don’t sing!” (Could have been payback for the time I actually did that to my mother when she was singing me a lullaby.)
Anyway, I had been having lots of fun watching this amazing show each day. It made me so happy and the movements were really quite obvious. It’s not like I was seeing what I wanted to see; it was obvious that something inside there was making my belly dance. Then all of a sudden it stopped happening. The first day I didn’t see any movement, of course, I was a little worried, but I figured perhaps the baby was tired and just not up for the show that day. But it continued for several days in a row, no movement. Now, I have been doing all my reading, probably too much reading, but I know that if there is a significant change in the baby’s activity it can be serious and needs to be checked out.
So, last Saturday I finally was nervous enough after four days of nothing and decided to call my doctor (of course I waited until the weekend and had to have him paged). He decided that it had been a significant enough change that he wanted me to go in to get a fetal heart rate and make sure everything was okay.
I forgot to mention that I have been living up in a cabin in the mountains by myself while we finish a big remodel/addition. It’s six hours from my home and current doctor, so since there is a little town with a clinic and a Physician’s Assistant (PA), I called and explained the situation to him. Fortunately, the clinic did have a Fetal Doppler Stethoscope and would be able to detect if there was still a heartbeat.
Now, mind you, my doctor had told me that it is very unlikely that anything had happened; he said it’s unusual to lose a fetus at this stage in the game. If you know me and my luck, though, you know that more unusual things happen to me all the time. So, I was quite worried. I just needed to hear that heartbeat and know everything was okay.
I also forgot to mention that the night before I had been about an hour away at an event in another town and when I was driving home, I realized I was significantly low on gas. My gas indicator light, in fact, came on 10 miles before I got to my cabin, and the nearest gas station was still 15 miles away. Additionally, most of the drive to the station was out of cell phone reception, so if I ran out of gas, I’d be stuck on the highway with no way to contact anyone but flagging down a passerby.
I decided to call AAA and let them know my situation, and asked that if they didn’t hear back from me in 30 minutes to send out a vehicle with some gas, that I’d be heading north on the highway within 15 miles of the town. Can you believe it: they actually agreed to accommodate me, even though it was totally against their policy? Considering the circumstances, they assured me, they would certainly bend the rules. I am so, so thankful, and it really renewed my faith in the goodness of people.
Long story short, I made it to the gas station, called AAA to let them know, filled up, and headed to the clinic. After giving all my basic medical info and taking my vital signs, they put the Doppler Stethoscope on my belly and within two seconds I heard that oh-so-wonderful sound I’ve come to love: my baby’s heartbeat, strong and healthy!
Finally I felt peace of mind, knowing that all was well. The kid even had the nerve to kick for the PA; he felt it and told me to put my hand right where he had felt the kick. Of course, I got nothing. My unborn child is already misbehaving and being uncooperative. I guess this experience was just training for a lifetime of worry, stress, and challenges with this child. Oh, the joys of parenthood!!!
Let’s hope this next week isn’t quite as nerve racking!
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Check out Muffy's previous pregnancy blog: Disability and Pregnancy, Part 6 — Week 20
Get an update on Muffy in Disability and Pregnancy, Part 8 — Week 24.
For more information on Muffy, visit Muffy's Disaboom member profile.
