Touch me there! Depending on your disability or ailment, you may be pointing to never imagined erogenous zones now begging for more attention. How is this so? While sensation in certain areas of the body may be lacking, sensate focus exercises can unleash the passion potential secretly held in your other body parts. These commonly used techniques can help to increase personal, sexual, and body awareness, boosting your capacity for sexual sensations in the areas being stimulated.
Sensate focus exercises were originally proposed by doctors William Masters and Virginia Johnson as a way to counter disorders like premature ejaculation and lack of orgasm. In helping couples to enhance their sex life, these sex researchers developed a series of behavioral practices in which each partner is to pay attention to their own sensations when stimulated. Since then, a number of sexologists have adapted the original sensate focus format.
Oft guided by a sex therapist, counselor, or coach, lovers are encouraged to use different types of touch in exploring different body parts. In doing so, they discover new sexual pleasures, enhance sexual intimacy and excitement, increase sex communication, and find hot spots beyond the genitals, like those on your head, chest, and underarms. Both of you will grow sexually, and with more sexual and body confidence, as you engage in titillating caressing, sensual exercises.
In pursuing these non-demand pleasure exercises, plan to spend 20 minutes or so focusing on a specific area of one partner’s body. Heed that the sex you’re having is to remain in that part of the body, with the attention always on the receiving lover, even if you’re tempted to engage in other types of sex acts or are tempted to have your own needs met. Sensate focus sex is not to be goal-oriented in getting to a certain “place” or having specific sexual responses, namely orgasm. It’s not a form of foreplay, but the main event. It does not require eliciting sexual arousal. Hence, any anxieties are diffused as lovers lose themselves in the moment.
After choosing your erogenous zone for ample attention, take your time stroking, kissing, squeezing, scratching, tickling, licking or caressing it during this lusciously slow lovemaking. More than anything, variety is key. On occasion, vary the pressures, maneuvers, temperature, or motions. Use enhancements, like lotions, massage oils, fabrics, feathers, your fingernails, and vibrating sex toys.
Your aim is create greater awareness via a broader range of stimuli in including all of the senses during sex. Whether you’re giving or receiving stimulation, be mindful in noticing the texture, warmth, and contours of the touch. If you’re the receiver, give positive feedback on what feels good or what you would like more or less of in making the most of the hot spot.
Perhaps one of the greatest gains of sensate focus sex sessions is that they affect the way one sizes up a rewarding sexual interaction. Lovers acquire a healthier mindset in realizing that erotic pleasure goes beyond the groins, sexual intercourse, and one’s abilities. Couples may also relish sensate focus exercises for breaking the routine, revving up their sex life, or tackling a sexual issue. Lovers can come away feeling renewed in rediscovering one another. No matter what purpose sensate focus serves for you, having the experience on a regular basis ultimately has the potential to boost your quality of life.
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