What does Community look Like?

People join Disaboom everyday.  Some of these people get assimilated and involved in Disaboom right away, others take their time and slowly enter into community.  Some, for one reason or another, decide that the community on Disaboom is not for them.  That's what I'm writing about today.

Sometimes when people decide they're done with community here they send us messages, which I appreciate very much as it gives insight into how we can continue to improve.  Many times these messages help us make big steps forward in building a place for better community and interaction.  However, there's only so much we can do.  The thing about community is that only so much of it is about technology, administration and "authority."  Really, what community boils down to is you and me--the very members of community in all our individuality, with all our opinions, quirks and messiness.  That's right.  Community can be a messy business.

That idea of a "messy" community is not one that comes naturally to some people and it can even be frustrating for some, which is understandable.  I'd like to share one line from an email we received recently.  I won't tell you who it was from, just that we've received similar emails before and I thought now would be a good time to address the vision and ideal of community as it works itself out in general and on Disaboom.  Here's the line:

I had hoped disaboom would be different- a sanctuary where we can go, be ourselves, and keep the negative influences of the outside world at a distance.

I don’t know about you, but that description sounds like one of a convent or a monastery to me. See, the first part is right in line with our vision—we want a place where people can be themselves. The second part of the description is not compatible with the first part unless everyone is the same. Whenever you have a large community of people being themselves in the same location you find friction and disagreements and varying levels of maturity in how people deal with the frictions and disagreements. If life is anything it is bittersweet. Part of the joy that can be found in community comes from making the effort to overcome the inevitable frustrations and disagreements that arise and to finally find genuine relationship with others. That can’t be had without effort and perhaps even some anger.

Community is a gritty business, it’s not airbrushed and shiny, it’s not holding hands and being out of the world—it’s being real and experiencing pain and frustration, but then hopefully accepting and being accepted by others (but that isn’t guaranteed, and it doesn’t happen right away).

There are certainly some simple things we can do that might make it an easier journey for people such as the person who wrote the note above, and we are committed to making the journey as easy as possible.  But at the end of the day some people are looking for something that doesn’t exist, and we have no intention of trying to be the first to create such a place.

So what do you say?  Are you willing to give Community a shot?  I can tell you it's not always easy, it's not always fun (though it is a lot of the time!), but it is always worth it.