Facing Change

 Charles Darwin did not have MS. What he did have was a theory of natural selection. Often his theory is summarized as “survival of the fittest;” however, he was not referring to brute strength. Darwin said: "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."

One thing in life is certain -- there will be change. Change can be difficult, but it can be very exciting, too. Whether it is good or bad depends on how we respond and adapt. It takes innovation, but it especially takes attitude.

In the case of a life interrupted by a new disability, the change is drastic, and the attitude determines the level of survival. After the realization that life has forever changed big time, you think "Why me?" As you are working through the stages of grief, you are also learning to live with an entire new set of rules, with fewer abilities than you had before, and maybe with new and different abilities. Then somewhere along the path you may think "Why not me?"

I have heard many people say they were actually grateful for the catastrophe that changed their lives. No, it isn't as if they were tired of walking or seeing or living without pain. Rather, they are grateful that the change in circumstance developed into a change in priorities and a change in outlook. The most important thing in the world shifted from one thing to another; and the remainder of life is no longer infinite in time or possibilities. The new priorities are good ones, the new possibilities are more focused, and time is more appreciated than ever before.

Gratitude for a disability may be too much to expect, but there is something to be said for a positive attitude. The positive attitude, the continued hope -- that is the courage of living with a disability. When facing even a trivial disappointment, many people, disabled or not, lose their will to continue their trek.

Some people, when faced with a lifetime of living with a disability, just give up. I think most people consider doing it at first. Remember even Christopher Reeves said he just wanted to die in the beginning. Instead he helped increase disability awareness, continued to work in motion pictures, spearheaded a program fighting paralysis, and was able to enjoy and participate with his family and friends for years. I saw him speak about stem cell research, and he finished with a smile so sincere and heartwarming that shouted his pleasure with that work. He was Superman.

Every person has interests, passions, and talents. One person can lead a revolutionary change or simply touch one heart, soul, and mind to lead a powerful life. Change will come in everyone's life in one form or another. For some, that change is in the form of a disability. Some will just quietly give in and go on. Others will have an instinctive ability to respond, manage that change, and become stronger. We all benefit.

I know about daily life with MS. If there is one thing certain, it's the unpredictability. Living with changing stages like exacerbations, flareups and relapses, we quickly learn we cannot predict what the change might be, how long before it changes again or changes back, or partway back; we just know there will be change. MSers have great opportunities and plenty of practice developing responding skills. I have to believe that is true for other conditions as well.

If responding to change is the earmark of the fittest using Darwin's definition, people with disabilities may have an advantage after all.