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An issue affecting many is finally getting the attention it deserves. Last week, the Center for Excellence in Sexual Health at Morehouse School of Medicine in Atlanta hosted a conference titled "Wounded Troops and Partners: Supporting Intimate Relationships." With former Surgeon Generals Dr. David Satcher and Dr. Richard Carmona among the speakers, as well as former Senator Bob Dole, this effort is a glimmer of hope that America is finally ready to deal with the issue of sex and disability.

When most people think "sexy," they don't think disabled. Yet people with disabilities can be very sexual -- much more than we give them credit for. Consider, for example, that some women with complete spinal cord injury experience orgasm. Research by Barry Komisaruk, Beverly Whipple (The Science of Orgasm) and colleagues has shown that these women respond to vaginal or cervical self-stimulation because they could perceive it, with some reporting an orgasmic response. When I was working on my Master's degree in human sexuality, my class watched an old video from the 1970s exemplifying that people with disabilities can indeed be sexually active. In the video, a man was paralyzed from the neck down. Yet, despite his condition, he was able to bring his able-bodied partner to climax.

All it required was some movement on her part and his talented tongue. And as I listened to her moan -- and then scream -- her way into bliss, I remember being struck by the fact that she had just experienced what many women with non-disabled lovers do not. I remember thinking that the loving exchange I had just witnessed was more beautiful than most depictions of sex we normally see. I share this because, as many of my colleagues have called for, we need to rethink the way we view sex – what and who is sexy. You or your partner may not be disabled -- or may not have a chronic illness -- but that day may come. Even if you can't identify with missing a limb, being bed-ridden, or being having a brain injury, you could one day find yourself struggling with how to maintain a sex life in spite of back pain, spinal cord injury, multiple sclerosis, chronic fatigue, cystic fibrosis, cerebral palsy....

When it comes to sex and disability, the truth hurts. Yet we need to examine some harsh attitudes before we can challenge them. The following are societal attitudes that all of us need to set out to change: