When Karen Tamley and Kevin Irvine filled out the applications to begin the process of adoption, they were nervous. Karen uses a wheelchair and her husband has hemophilia, hepatitis C and is HIV positive.
“At the start of our adoption process we were not concerned about whether we were capable and would make good parents, but were rather more concerned about whether we would be viewed as capable parents by the adoption counselor at the agency as well as by the birth mother,” said Karen, who is the Commissioner at the Mayor’s Office of People With Disabilities in Chicago.
They didn’t have to worry.
Even before completing the required classes, the adoption agency approached them and asked if they would be interested in adopting Dominicka, a five-month-old baby with Apert Syndrome, which is a cranio-facial disability resulting in fused fingers and toes and a flattened mid-face. “She has had a number of surgeries since we took her home,” said Karen. “But she is a happy and smart little girl who gives us great joy. We feel having disabilities has made us more able to parent a child with a disability.”
Karen found a network of other moms with disabilities and they exchanged parenting tips and adaptive equipment. “A friend of mine who uses a wheelchair and had a baby two months younger loaned me a harness that she had specially made by the Engineering Department at the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago,” said Karen. The harness enabled Karen to pick up Dominicka from the floor and place her on her lap.
February 20, 2008 MamaStriped said:
I would like to just say, Valerie Brew-Parrish is my mother. She is my hero! Not because she has a disability. She is my hero because she taught me about love, kindness,intelligence, music etc. She always helps me with my homework and spoils my son! In a good way! She is the most knowledgeable person I know and my best friend!
She gives all of herself to everyone and I am so pleased to read this article. I must admit, the first few diapers I put on my son were lop sided too!
Tara Parrish-Kinnaman
February 20, 2008 Deaf Mom said:
Hi Tara,
I'm looking forward to having lunch with your Mom one of these days!
February 22, 2008 Edmond said:
This network is great for parents with disabilities to connect with each other and to get ideas.
What services do you have in your community for a parents with disabilities? I provided two rehab facilities information on starting a babycare equipment clinic for parents with physical disabilities. They liked the idea but did not want to spend the money to create such a program despite the need.
March 22, 2008 Deaf Mom said:
Edmond,
You may have to take the lead on creating a support group. Contact local community agencies, Centers for Independent Living or your own village/town hall to see if you can locate money to start the group. It may take a collaboration of several local agencies to get a group started.
I also found another online resource recently: Parents with Disabilities Online (www.disabledparents.net/index.html)
July 23, 2008 AnnieSibley said:
These are amazing stories!It just goes to show you that anything is possible, as long as you want it to happen. These moms are all heroesto me. my hat's off to all of you, ladies. My son is 9 but he sometimes tells me that he would like his 'old'mommy back. It hurts when he says this but I just suck it up and keep on going. . .
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