Kevin Pettit was a happily married man, proud father of a 2-year-old son, and a rising professor in the renowned physics department at Carleton College in Minnesota when a tragic accident changed the course of his life. The day his department planned to celebrate the quarter million dollar research grant that Kevin had been awarded, he never showed up to work. While he and his wife were driving their son Andrew to daycare, a truck hit the passenger side of their car and Kevin sustained a traumatic brain injury (TBI). The injury changed Kevin’s career, ended his marriage two years later, and altered his relationship with his son.

Unresponsive Stage of TBI
Kevin doesn’t remember the accident, nor can he remember the first several days he spent in the hospital in a semi-conscious vegetative state. When Kevin remained unresponsive to pin pricking on the 11th day, a nationally known coma expert told his family they should withdraw life support. The doctor predicted that Kevin would either die, live in a persistent vegetative state, or forever reside in an institution. His sister ran back to Kevin’s side and told him that he needed to survive or else the doctor’s were going to kill him. Kevin raised his hand, and then did it again for the doctor. It was several days before he showed any other voluntary movement.

Rehabilitation After TBI
After a month-long stay at Hennepin County Medical Center, Kevin was transferred to Craig Rehabilitation Hospital in Denver to be near family. His first physical response there was when the Denver Broncos cheerleaders gave him kisses while visiting patients to cheer them up around Christmas time. Kevin spent over four months in rehab regaining some strength and function, and then began occupational rehabilitation in Boulder. For a year, Kevin and his family rotated living with nearby family members. Once he regained enough function talking, walking, and taking care of daily tasks like safely crossing the street and shopping, Kevin took an apartment back in Minnesota and resumed some teaching responsibilities. Focusing on teaching, he says, was easier than dealing with the emotions involved with relationships.

The End of Life as He Knew It
Two years after the accident, Kevin signed divorce papers, his wife claiming that he wasn’t the man she had married. Kevin suspects other reasons as well, such as not expecting him to recover as much as he has, and that his presence is a constant reminder of the accident in which she was driving. After a year Kevin lost his job at the college and moved back to Boulder. Since then he has served as a teaching assistant for the University of Colorado and currently tutors students at Denver University. His source of income remains his disability payments.

Anger Control and Parenting with TBI
Like other TBI victims, controlling his temper has been a big issue for Kevin. To help him become a better parent, he participated in a parenting class at the YWCA in Boulder, and another class held at his church. Early on he made a promise to himself that he would never spank or hit his child and he never has. Whenever Kevin felt his temper rising around Andrew, he hugged his son hard instead of lashing out, then would sit him down and talk to him.

Like all growing children, Andrew tested his limits of what he could say and do around his father. Kevin responded by setting appropriate boundaries. Now that Andrew is 14, he’s become “totally a teenager,” embarrassed for his friends to see his dad. Still, Kevin is a committed parent and chooses activities they can enjoy together and ones that Andrew wants to do. They’ve gone bowling and took a shooting class, and next summer Kevin hopes to take his son on a hunting trip.

Ongoing TBI Recovery
Doctors are amazed at the level of Kevin’s recovery. They told him that any gains in function over one year were a gift. Kevin continued to experience gains 4 years past his injury and even now his speech continues to get clearer. One doctor in particular told him that in 35 years of working as a physician, he’s never seen such a recovery.

Setting Realistic Expectations After TBI
When asked what advice he would give to other TBI victims, he mentions that for a while following this injury, he tried to put his life back to the way it was, and realizes that’s not realistic.

“A lot of people think recovering is becoming the person you were,” Kevin says. “I don’t think anyone is going to be the same after a TBI.  You can’t force life into the old way of being. I’m largely the same person, but you can’t expect me to be the same person.”

As for parenting, Kevin has a similar answer. “You can’t have the same expectations of your child either. It’s important to take time to navigate the shifts in both the parent and the child. As each person changes (from TBI or otherwise), the relationship is going to change.”